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Needless to say, stoners usually get the short end of the stick when it comes to drug tests. This is because metabolites of THC, the psychoactive ingredient in cannabis, stay far longer in the blood and urine than other, even more dangerous drugs.
If you’re a regular, heavy smoker, THC metabolites are likely to remain in your system for about a month unless you take active detox measures.
It turns out that you have plenty of options for detoxing your system! Though these might work for other drugs as well, this list has been made with cannabis smokers in mind since they need an adequate time frame for a negative result on the drug test day.
So, whether you’re on the job market or on probation, using these detox drinks may help speed up the process of ridding your system of drug remnants.
We’ll start off our top picks with the all-time natural classic: lemon water. If you have a 4 to 5 weeks before an upcoming drug test, you won’t need any synthetic options. Natural drinks like lemon water will do.
This is because lemon has a high acidic content, and it burns the fat-soluble THC in your stream.
Squeeze out a tablespoon of lemon juice in a glass of water and drink it often. This will speed up your metabolism, flush your system by hydration, and also provides you with essential vitamins.
We recommend filling up handy water bottles with a ratio of one tablespoon of lemon juice with 8-16 ounces of water since it is best to sip them throughout the day instead of gulping down dangerous amounts of fluid in one-go.
Tip: drink 7-8 glasses of lemon water every day before your upcoming drug test.
Cranberry juice is another classic that has been hailed by stoners worldwide as a great detox option. Cranberries are a natural diuretic and anti-oxidant.
Because of its anti-oxidant properties, it can help break down the fat-soluble THC molecules. And since it’s a natural diuretic, it will also cause more urination.
Tip: don’t drink artificial juice as this contains sugars and other concentrates. Go for all-natural juices for most effectiveness.
Please note that drinking natural juices may take far longer (around 4 weeks) for a complete detox. So, if your drug test is happening soon, you may want to look at synthetic options.
Rescue Detox Ice:
Rescue Detox Ice is for those who are on a tight deadline. These drinks are formulated with pure extracts of cranberry and pomegranate, natural coloring, and Stevia leaf extract for sweetening.
There are two options: 17-ounce bottle for those weighing under 200 pounds or with high toxin levels and a 32-ounce bottle for people over 200 pounds or those with extreme toxin levels.
It works within 90 minutes. Shake well and drink the entire bottle. Then refill it with water and drink within 30 minutes. Refill with water and drink one more time if you have the 17 oz option.
After that, you’ll have to go pee at least 3-4 times before you can take your drug test. The company claims that the effects will last for 5 hours.
One thing to note, however, is that though it may prove effective, it might cause your urine to have a peculiar color, which might raise alarm bells.
Note: Rescue Detox Ice recommends that you do not eat 3 hours before and after taking the drink. If you must, then stay away from fatty food. The company also advises staying toxin-free for at least 48 hours before your cleansing process.
Rescue Cleanse is one of the most popular commercially offered options for detox. It is known to work effectively within a few hours.
Before using, you should avoid eating or drinking 4 hours before and avoid toxins or unnecessary medications at least 48 hours prior.
Drink the entire bottle. You should then refill with water and drink once or twice. Rescue Cleanse becomes effective after an hour. During this time, you may urinate as much as possible.
Like Rescue Detox Ice, Rescue Cleanse works for up to 5 hours. However, the maximum effect takes place within 1 hour.
Stinger Buzz 5X Extra Strength Liquid
Stinger Detox is quickly gaining traction in the market as the strongest and most effective detox drink available on the market.
Like with the other options above, you have to drink the full, small bottle of Stinger Buzz in one go. After that, refill the bottle with water and drink it 4 times. You will then need to urinate frequently, at least 3-4 times before you are good to go.
Since it is highly potent, the Stinger Buzz comes in a smaller bottle but has a higher effectiveness, according to VICE News.
We recommend using the Stinger Buzz 5X Extra Strength version for maximum effectiveness before your test time. However, other options are available, as well.
Detoxify Mega Clean Cleansing Drink
Mega Clean is another great option for heavy smokers and overweight people. The tropical flavor tastes of citrus, strawberry, and pineapple.
Similar to the other artificial detox options, you have to drink Mega Clean a couple of hours before your test time (make it three hours just to be sure). Shake the bottle and drink it entirely. Then wait for 15 minutes and refill the bottle with water. Again, shake it and drink it.
You can continue to drink water until you have urinated 3-4 times. However, be careful not to drink too much right before the test as this can cause your urine to be clear and watery, a sign of tampering that some testers might take issue with.
This is also one of the most effective detox options, with plenty of rave reviews.
Though many of the artificial options cost a lot, they are some of the most highly efficient methods. Based on your timeframe, you may want to go either fully natural or just take the artificial detox drinks before your test.
We recommend mixing them; drink natural lemon water or cranberry juice as soon as you learn about the drug test. Then take a detox drink before your test time, as advised above. This will ensure that you pass your drug test with flying colors!
Make sure to consult a medical professional before taking the above artificial detox drinks as some underlying health conditions may adversely affect the process.